The Comeback

It's been three years. Three years since I remember chasing after my dream. A dream I hadn't really realized was my dream until it was happening. In 2013, I was published by a small vanity press Sweet Cravings Publishing for Circle of Secrets. I was over the moon proud of myself for being offered a contract. I began the journey of author-hood and chased the dream.

Until I realized it was harder than I thought. Now hear me out, I didn't quit or give up just then. So I pushed more and promoted more. But, you won't grow an audience overnight. I'm very impatient. Very. Just ask my husband.

Then my publisher made the difficult decision to close their doors and I got the rights back to my novel. They were great, truly they were. I didn't know much about the industry or how to be an author. I knew how to write from my heart, tell a story and create characters you could relate to. I told myself I'd just re submit to other publishers. Surely if I was picked up before I'd definitely find a new publishing home. Rejection after rejection, I told myself Stephen King was rejected 17 times. But with each one that came, chipped more and more away from my confidence until....

I just stopped submitting.

Life took hold and I was busy. I was working on losing weight. Friends, living, work....

I hit a rocky patch in my life. Now I'm sure we all do. I stopped trusting God had a plan. I questioned ALL my decisions in life. I didn't really know who I was. I was unhappy, depressed, anxious and just out right faking it to make it. I won't get into the gritty details, but I went through a time where I wasn't myself. Due in part to trying to "find myself" I was on a journey of self discovery. I was winging it, taking it one day at a time and trying to find my footing.


You know, we all go through this journey. Usually between 18-23. I was 27/28. I was late to the game. We all have a story. Long story short- lost my mom at 19 right after I got married. Didn't know how to be a wife. Struggled but found some footing. Had a kid. Didn't know how to be a mom. Struggled but found somewhat of a footing. I still struggle to this day, but hey they don't come with manuals. But I did have people who helped me through these things. You know who you are. So all this growing up was done pretty fast. Now I regret none of it, trust me on that. But I never did that self discovery thing. So it came and it came hard.

Anyway, as I progressed on this journey I learned a lot. About myself. About others. About life. About the person I wanted to be. I started to trust God again.  I started to believe in myself again. I started to realize my worth. In no way am I perfect. But I am worth more than I gave myself credit for.

I've always wanted to help people. That's just me. I am a people person. I got behind something I truly, truly believed in. From people I never thought would, I was criticized for it. But I pushed through the adversity. I tried to make it work, because my intention was helping people. It was at some point in this journey I realized, I didn't want to have to beg people to let me help them. So, I re-evaluated things. I took a step back. I prayed. I talked to God.

And then....

I got connected to a fellow local author. She wanted to get local authors together to possibly do an article about local authors. In talking with her, I realized where my passion was. It was helping people, touching peoples lives, making a difference but I was in the wrong vehicle. It was someone very passionate who said something he said quite often. But it wasn't until that night I realized, he was talking to me! (Thanks Coach)

We were told as kids we can be anything. We can dream as big as we want. As we grow older, the anything you want to be options get smaller. Be it circumstance, life choices, or grit. Those around us seem to unintentionally dictate what's "possible" in our own lives. And we listen. So our dreams get smaller. Some to match our income, some to match what others expectations of us are.

"You'll never amount to anything with that past."

"You're not smart enough for that. You don't have the grades or what it takes."

"You can't own a business, you're broke. You don't have what it takes."

"You can't be an actress, you don't look the part."

You can't. You won't. You're not enough.


BUT YOU ARE! 

WE are the writers of our story. WE are the weavers of our own destinies by the choices we make. Some may be wrong, or so you think. But in truth, you made these "wrong" choices in order to learn what needed to be learned and grow from that. Growth happens outside your comfort zone.

Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE. We're just looking at that word wrong. I'M POSSIBLE.

So I realized my passion was and always had been writing. I'd hit a writers block and hadn't written in the better part of three years. But I was determined. I was going to dive in and give it everything I had because I BELIEVED IN ME! I didn't need validation from a publishing house, from society, friends, family. I had to show my son what it looked like to have a dream and go after it with all you have. To show that anything was possible with hard work.

Nah, I probably won't have a six figure salary. I may not have an empire. But....maybe I might.

The funny thing about this passion thing. I'm not in it for the money. Sure, of course I'd love to earn a few extra bucks by selling my work. But it's more than that. So much more.

It's that feeling of hearing, "I read your book, and it touched my soul. It made me laugh. It made me cry. I could relate so much to this character. I needed that escape from reality and your book gave me that." It's knowing you made someone who doesn't care to read, actually not be able to put your book down. It's about showing girls who need a role model, that someone like me, who is just an average person can make it by following your dreams big or small. That it's worth it.

So, here's to my comeback. Doing this Author thing. I've decided to forego submitting to publishers and self publish my own work. It's called being an independent author or "Indie". Now if you love to read, I have to tell you this "Indie" community is HUGE. And you'd be so so very surprised how many indie books you would love, if only you just gave it a chance. Hidden within this community are your Nicholas Sparks, Judy Blume, Charlaine Harris, Stephen King, J.R. Ward, and J.K. Rowling. What I'm saying is just because they aren't a national bestseller....yet......doesn't mean you won't fall in love with the worlds they weave and characters they create.


Thanks for reading! I do hope you do one last thing for me....being a self published indie author is just like if I would have opened my own restaurant. If your friend opened a restaurant, would you go eat there to show support? If the answer is yes, I'm asking you to eat at mine by buying my book, leaving a review AND/OR sharing on social media the information about my book and myself. Reviews can make or break you. It helps get your name out there. It helps your rank. It's the equivalent of telling someone else the steak you ate at ___ was the best you'd had. And I fully realize not everyone will love and rejoice my work. I'm okay with that. Still leave a review. It matters. It counts. Because you, the reader, and your feedback can help us to improve and grow.


With that I leave you with the following:

my website : HERE
facebook like page: Lauren Tisdale- Author

Circle of Secrets cover reveal June 1st, 2018

Circle of Secrets release date June 8th, 2018

Share away!!

PS Thank you Tams for being the best Mentor ever. So many people to thank....so, so many. I will name you all individually in my dedications and acknowledgements.  Trust me I haven't forgotten.


While I typed this, I listened to this on repeat. If you've never heard it please listen. If you have, listen again because it's your time.